Last Words To The Living

My friend John died on Wednesday, October 3rd or maybe the 4th. I can't be sure.

If this sounds suspiciously like the opening to Albert Camus' book "The Stranger," that's because it's what I thought of when I heard the news ("Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure." is how the book begins).

Camus aside, I actually wasn't sure when John died. The phone call came on Thursday from a friend who had only sketchy information about the when and the why (I subsequently found out it had been Wednesday).

John had retired 6 months ago at the age of 60 and was spending several weeks in a condo he had purchased in Rocky Point, Mexico. He evidently had a heart attack (his sister and only living relative does not want an autopsy) and was alone when he died. His body wasn't discovered until two days after he died by friends who heard John's dog barking furiously when they approached the condo. The dog had been with John's body for the two days. This news was especially poignant to me, a dog lover.

John's death was shocking. I've had people close to me die, but never with such stupefying and unexpected suddenness. He was full of life when I last saw him at Christmas. We talked regularly on the phone, but I hadn't seen him since then. Every year he hosted a Christmas party at his house and invited people, like my wife and me, who don't have family in Arizona.

John had a well thought out spiritual belief about what was going to happen after he died and I hope he has been proved right.

Having someone close die and especially die without warning is a good reminder that I'm going to die and I do need to be reminded of that from time to time, especially when my anger, jealousy and selfishness get the better of me. Since John died, before I say goodbye to people on the phone or in person, I always ask myself, "Is there something I'm not saying that needs to be said?" I'm not thinking of what I might say out of anger. I'm thinking of what I might say out of love.

It's too late for any last words with John, but it's not too late for those who are living. 

Miracles You May Have Difficulty Believing

I want to share some miraculous things that happened to me recently. You're going to find these hard to believe, but I assure you, they are all true. Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

It began in the morning as I walked through the parking lot between the gym where I parked my car and the Starbucks on the other side of the mall. As I stepped from between a row of cars, I glanced to my right and saw a car approaching about 30 feet away. I was already in the lane of traffic and the car was coming towards me. Instantly, the driver of the car stopped, waved for me to go ahead and smiled.

To my amazement, I made it to Starbucks and back to my car without being run over.

Okay. I know you're skeptical that anything that miraculous could possibly happen. But it gets even stranger.

As I was driving home, I came to a 4-way stop at the exact moment as three cars at the other three corners. No one moved because we were all signaling for one of the other drivers to go first. It took about 10 seconds for it all to get worked out. As hard as it may be for you to believe, all four of us made it through the intersection unscathed. I sipped my coffee and thanked my lucky stars. Whew! That was close.

Still later that day, I was walking my dog through a forest near my house. Many of my neighbors are hunters and have rifles and shotguns and handguns. I was wary, of course, yet not one of my neighbors came out of his house and used my dog and me for target practice. 

And if that isn't miraculous enough, that night, my wife and I went to see a movie, enjoyed it tremendously and returned home. No one yelled fire in the crowded theater or pulled out a gun and started shooting.

I'm afraid I may make you doubt my honesty if I tell you that events later in the week were just as stunning: The flight I took where not one fist fight broke out over space in the overhead bin; the fact that my car had not been stolen from the airport parking lot; the drive home where everyone, myself included, stopped when the lights turned red.

Okay. What's the point?

Consider this: The news is full of stories about conflict and political polarization. What rarely makes the news is how civil we actually are to each other and how well we get along and live by the rules even though most of the rules we live by aren't written down.

Of course there are exceptions, but they are called exceptions because they are exceptional

It's amazing how many miracles we pass by every day without even noticing.

I hope every day is as amazing for you as my days have been for me when I took the time to focus on the truly miraculous.